


Until you tell me it's over

by bastardandkhaleesi



Category: High School Musical (Movies), Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Little bit of smut, also published (started) on ff.net, hsm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 14:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2071254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bastardandkhaleesi/pseuds/bastardandkhaleesi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To give Vanessa at least the chance of finding out what she really wants in life Zac decides that breaking her heart would be the only way to get her to move on from him. The plan worked but what if all that he really wanted was her? Would he sacrifice his own happiness for hers? Will she discover his real intensions for leaving her? [Post break-up 2013 ] - previously published and started on ff.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

> So I started this on ff.net a while ago but I think this is a better place for it to be on. Questions or anything to stillzanessa.tumblr.com - thank you so much for reading!

**Disclaimer:**

This is pure fiction. I don't own Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens or any other characters that'll appear (well I do own the fictional ones of course but you get what I'm trying to say, right?) and I have no connection to them, neither do I really know what happened or what will happen. I'm not trying to hurt or insult any other fandoms or "shippers" with this fanfic and I don't want to put a bad light on the real celebrities – Most actions or character traits are purely fictional and I at least hope that all of the celebs that have "mean" traits in this story are in reality amazing little angels. This is not going to be some "Anti-Vaustin trash fic" where I just make up bad things he could've done or do to hurt Nessa but this is a fictional story with the basic thought that Zac and Vanessa still have feelings for each other so this fic will be for those who ship them as a couple or friends. If you don't understand any actions or logics in this story just message me and I'll try to explain or fix the story. Thanks so much for reading, I love every reader to bits! ...

 

**PROLOG:**

_After the heartbreaking separation (that will appear in flashbacks throughout the story and will be furthermore explained by the characters' thoughts) Vanessa and Zac decided to stay friends. Vanessa clung to that promise knowing that this would be the only way for them to stay in contact. Zac on the other hand couldn't take it. He couldn't be friends with the girl he'll probably always be in love with so he decided to break it up completely and shut her out. His decision broke Vanessa. She couldn't understand how her former best friend, the person she (at least at some point) had been willing to spend the rest of her life with, could hurt her like that. This anger and disappointment helped her move on because she knew that someone who was willing to make her suffer this much could never make her happy. Now here they are 3 years later._


	2. Wasted Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa is thinking back to the day that changed everything. Did they make the right choice? Is she better off without him?

Chapter 1 (POV: Vanessa)

**Wasted time**

* * *

Destiny, being „soul mates", being "meant to be" – all of that stuff was nothing more than confusing superstition to Vanessa. The simple thought that there was someone out there who was  _born_ to be with you made her feel uncomfortable because she really wanted to believe that everything you do influences your future instead of it all being planned out for you.

It was offensive too because it suggested that you can only truly love once. That would mean that by the moment you meet the person you're going to end up with every other relationship you had will be meaningless, like you never loved anyone else at all. Wouldn't it be all lies then? Every other relationship you've been in? Every other moment you told someone that you loved them? Or is it okay to deceive someone else until you find the person who's meant to be with you? Probably not. That's why all of that crap didn't matter to her.

She was in love with Austin – truly and completely – and she had never doubted that for even a second. He made her feel special, like she was the only person that could change his mood for the better and that was what he did for her as well. When she was down he never failed to surprise her with some random joke or a super spontaneous adventure. He was all she really wanted. When she had been close to giving up on "real love", almost three years ago, he was the reason she started to believe again.

Still, if someone would ask her now, she would never deny that she had been in love with Zac Efron at some point either. Even after all that had happened between the two of them, all the months she hasn't been talking to him, she would never negate the amazing time they have spent together. Claiming that she was "meant to be" with Austin was something she therefore would never do because that would make the five years with Zac seem worthless when they had been everything but. Nevertheless, she didn't regret the break up for a second. It had been the right thing to do because if she was honest she knew that someone who could hurt her so badly without as much as batting an eyelash would only make her miserable in the long run.

**…..**

_When Zac had said that he had serious doubts in retaining their relationship she had been in a shock. She wanted to tell him that he was wrong, wanted to give him a reason why they should stay together but it was as if her lips were paralyzed. She has never had a single doubt in this relationship – not when he had returned home drunk or under the influence of drugs and not when he had been a hundred miles away from her, filming another movie. She believed that they could get through anything together. But the plain fact that he seemed to think differently kept her from talking, from moving altogether. For a wee moment she wasn't sure if she was even breathing anymore._

_Finally as she watched him gather some of his things reality hit her and made her blood circulate again. "Zac, please! You don't know what you're saying!" Vanessa said failing to hold back tears as she got up to hold him back._

" _I think I do." she heard him saying neutrally as he went through the stuff in one of their drawers. 'He's searching for his keys – he's really going to leave' Vanessa thought in panic. "What did I ever do to you? If anyone gets to be angry right here it would be me." She said, trying to sound angry when in reality all she felt was fear. Fear that he'd leave her. That he would go and never come back._

" _You're right and that is why this isn't working anymore." Zac said, still not facing her._

_Vanessa didn't understand what he was saying. She wasn't angry at him so what was his problem? She could never be mad at him for wanting to live his dream because it was hers as well and she had taken movie offers too. "But I'm not angry at you, Zac. I'm not!" she said gently putting a hand on his back to calm him down._

_The next thing he said shocked her once again. 'You should be' it echoed through her mind. Why should she be angry at him? He was not making any sense. "What are you talking about?" Vanessa said in a soft voice, still trying to comfort him._

" _By filming yet another movie away from here I chose my career over you… again." He said grabbing his keys as he looked down._

_For a brief moment she thought that he wanted to make eye contact with her but then again she probably just wished that he would. She finally understood where all of this was coming from – he was worried about the whole long distance thing. It was almost relieving to hear because that problem could be solved easily. Still something felt odd about this. They had discussed that topic like a dozen times and she had always ended up with the impression that both of them would try everything in their power to make it work. "But that's the business! We always knew that this job would require leading a long distance relationship now and then. But we're stronger than that, Zac! I know we are!" she said, remembering their past discussions._

" _We'll we're not. I'm not. I will always choose my career over this relationship. Over you." He said and that was when she slowly retracted her hand. That was it. There were only a few things that he could say or do to make her give up on them. Telling her that she was just some pastime on his way to being an A-list actor was definitely one of them._

**… _.._**

She had forgiven him a few weeks later. After all he had been her best friend no matter if he wanted to be romantically involved with her or not. Still, Vanessa felt like she had been a fool for 5 fucking years. She had actually believed that she'd mean more to him than his stupid career… not that she ever doubted his intensions - he couldn't have played  _all_  of it - but it hurt like hell because she would've  _always_  chosen him over acting. They would stay friends though. At least that's what she hoped for back then cause he simply meant too much to her..

Vanessa had indeed tried to be his friend. She had texted him every day, asked him to hang out from time to time, supported his career... but he had made it so damn hard for her. He had always cancelled their meetings last minute and she could've been glad when she got as much as a "great." or "congrats." in response to her numerous messages.

Vanessa Hudgens really wasn't someone to give up on others easily but he had left her with no choice. Continuing like that would've destroyed her.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you liked the first chapter even though it was still very prologish! And don't worry, Zac won't be and has never been a complete bastard in this story. Next Chapter will be his POV with another flashback of the break up and his feelings towards the HSM reunion! Keep reading


	3. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zac's take on the whole break-up may be a totally different one, but she'll never know his real intentions.

Chapter 2

**Sacrifice**

* * *

Zac hated to read crap about himself on gossip blogs, not that he'd even bother to look it up but he was confronted with all these lies during interviews or while encountering paparazzi on the street everyday.

Assertions like "you still love Vanessa" or even accusations like "you started taking drugs because you couldn't bear to see your ex being happy with someone else" were therefore no exceptions.

Sometimes he wondered where those people even get this bullshit from. He had  _never_ even said that he'd miss her or still think about her for that matter.

In reality he was happy for her cause even though he hadn't actually talked to Austin more than maybe two or three times in his life and that had been before he learned that the guy was dating his ex, he knew that Austin was the right guy for Vanessa.

Zac had seen various pictures of the two of them, sometimes even on purpose to be completely honest, and they seemed more than happy.

He had never been someone to hold a grudge apart from this the only person who'd have the right to begrudge anyone elses happiness in this case was her.

After all he had been the one to break off the contact. He had decided to let her go and now he'd have to live with it…

**…..**

" _You're right and that is why this isn't working anymore." Zac said, still not facing her._

_He simply couldn't because it would break him. He had planned this for weeks, each and every word, ever move even._

_It was the only way he could go through with it, Zac had been very aware of that when the thought breaking up with her had first come to his mind._

_There wouldn't be a farewell kiss, he wouldn't get to hold her in his arms one last time – god he wouldn't even get to look into her beautiful chocolate eyes again. He'd just leave her without showing any kind of emotion or she wouldn't let him go._

_When he heard her speak up again he felt his heart squeeze painfully. He quietly cursed himself for being such a weak bastard but nevertheless stopped moving alltogether._

" _But I'm not angry at you, Zac. I'm not!" she said and he could almost feel his heart breaking as she put her hand on his back in the most delicate way._

_The thing that stung a million times more was that he had to break hers now, quick and hurtfully like removing a band-aid._

_The only difference was that a band-aid caused a slight pain on the outter skin while his words would destroy her from the inside. He knew they would but he didn't have a choice._

" _You should." He started quietly, desperate to find some kind of strength within him but it was like his body was refusing the help._

" _What are you talking about?" Vanessas soft voice rang through the tense air between them and for a wee moment he was sure that he couldn't do it. The hurt his heart seemed to send through his whole body now fully reaching his mind, forcing him to give in to her pleading._

_Hell, he wanted to. Right in that moment there was nothing Zac was craving more than her sweet kisses and tender embraces… but he had to be strong. For the both of them. After all he was doing this for her and only her._

" _By filming yet another movie away from here I chose my career over you… again." He said grabbing his keys as he looked down._

' _A few more words and it'll be over, Zac. You can do this.' He supported himself through his thoughts. His weak heart wouldn't get the best of him now, his strong mind would fight until he was out of here and dulling it with alcohol._

_He slightly tended his head in the beautiful brunettes direction. Sacrafice. That was what all those fucking movies were about. Sacrificing your own happiness for the person you love, so they could live their life to the fullest._

_It was a nice thought, one that comes from a good and noble heart._

_Nobody had told him that it would be so damn hard though. All those heroes in romances just did it because it was the right thing to do but how could it be right when he hurt her like hell? How could he live with this decision when he'd hurt the only person he ever truly cared about?_

_He had to end this. He had to leave, now!_

_To do so he'd have to block out her begs and true course this was business – long distance shit and all… but it had been the best excuse he could come up with._

' _But that's the business! We always knew that this job would require leading a long distance relationship now and then. But we're stronger than that, Zac! I know we are!' she had said._

' _You have no idea' he thought when she talked about his strength. She would never know just how strong he had been in this very moment._

" _We'll we're not. I'm not. I will always choose my career over this relationship. Over you." Zac finally said._

_This wasn't him. He would never chose his stupid career over her… but the simple fact that she could belive such a thing, that she could think that he could, gave him the boldness he had needed._

_Why would she be with a guy who was capable of doing this to her? And from the fact that she belived him without a doubt he took that she thought that he was. He had never known that Vanessa was such a masochist._

_When he felt the warmth of her small hand slowly leaving his back Zacs whole body tensed. He wasn't going to cry now, was he? He was not going to fucking cry._

_She gave up on him. Vanessa Anne Hudgens gave up on the good guy she had fallen in love with._

_He would never tell her but in that moment a tear rolled down his cheeks as both of their hearts broke._

**… _.._**

Zac quickly shook of those painful memories when he heard his mobile ringing on the table in front of him.

As soon as he caught a glimpse of the caller ID he knew what he would be getting himself into if he'd take the call.

Everyone had been up his ass the moment news broke that he wasn't going to join them for the High School Musical Reunion Monique would be arranging.

Taking a deep breath he decided to get it over with and took the call. After all Ashley had been his best friend for more than 8 years now and if she was mad at him they should talk about it.

Well, he would have to take whatever it was that bugged her and just pretend that he was sorry cause in this case he really wasn't.

"Zachary David Alexander Efron." Her angry voice called from the other end of the line. "Are we still in kindergarten or are you just out of your mind?"

"Is there a right answer to that?" he said chuckling, knowing that teasing would only fuel her anger. She was cute when she was angry and it was definitely entertaining.

He heard a frustrated grown from her side before and decided to calm her down.

"See, I have to promote two movies in the next few months and after that I'm already up to film another one. I simply don't have the time." He said trying to sound reasonable.

It did make sense, too. He was always in a hurry, always busy with promoting, interviews and filming. The date they had agreed on just didn't went with his schedule.

"You' seriously trying to fob me up with that?" Ashley said unbelieving.

"Uhm… I guess?" Zac answered unsure. He had never lied to her… well just about one thing really… but after all she was Vanessas friend as well and he couldn't risk her telling the truth.

"Zac, we were talking about this for  _ages_  now and we had so many calls and meetings to find the right date so everyone can be there and you simply did not respond in any way." The blond stated, her voice rising in sync with her anger.

"Well like I said I was busy…" he tried to talk himself out of it but he knew that there was no escaping Ashley Tisdales investigation.

"If I didn't know you any better I'd say that this reunion doesn't mean anything to you." He was accused by his best friend.

"Oh but it does! You know that." Zac replied frustrated. 'That really isn't the point' he thought to himself. 'Of course I care.'.

"I don't think I do." Ashley was bugging him again and simply continued as her friend refused to give her any enlightenment. " _Zac_ , what is going on?" The blond asked in a worried tone.

This was going to far. Sure, she was concerned for his wellbeing but why does the girl not shut up when he told her to?

Sometimes you should simply not push people but that was something his best friend had never been any good at. "Nothing! Now will you just stop?"

"I was really looking forward to it. Everyone was. Just think of all the fans that will be so disappointed when you don't attend. Zac Efron, the guy who usually stays at events until every single fan had the chance to get his autograph and picture, not willing to make up his mind about a fitting date for a show that won't take longer than a few hours… that's not you." Ashley went on influencing his conscience.

She was right, yes and she meant well but Zac was pissed. He didn't want to talk about it and he wasn't going to.

'Maybe I should sic Michael to her.' Zac chuckled. He was grown very close to his 'That awkward moment' co-star and he was sure that he'd be on his side.

Plus the dark skinned guy could be a real pain in the ass himself when it came to arguing.

"See, I have a meeting in a bit. Can we talk about this later?" Zac tried to excuse himself from the annoying talk.

" _Zac_ " Ashley protested in a knowing tone. Of course she knew that he didn't have to run but this time she knew that she couldn't push him any further.

"Love you, Blondie. Have dinner tonight?" He proposed with a smirk.

After all he hadn't seen his best friend in a while and maybe she'd give up the discussion if he showed her his annoyance face to face.

"Alright. But we  _will_ talk about this, Efron." His friend said, not fully surrendering yet as he noted by rolling his eyes.

"Whatever you wish." Zac agreed and hung up.

'Finally' he thought grabbing his keys and mobile and getting out of the hotel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading and I hope all of you will have a great start in the new year! :) Zac's motive will be explained soon! And next chapter will be Zac and Vanessas first real encouter after 3 years! So please continue reading, loves!


	4. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who you meet in New York...

**Chapter 3 – Desire**

* * *

Zac was in one of the huge suites that had a view over the whole city, as usual when he was on promo tours.

Luckily Michael and Miles were just one or two floors beyond him or even on the same one so he just decided to drop by for some relaxing before the big event.

They were in New York City to promote their new flick, That Awkward Moment and he was simply sick of staying in his room until the premier started and hanging out with his two co-stars was probably the best way to make the rest of his afternoon somewhat entertaining.

" _Yo Miles. Hangin' at Michaels in 5, you in?_ " he quickly texted after he got the room number from Michael.

264 – Michaels suite, there he was. When there was no sign of Miles he just knocked on the bright door two times and waited for his co-star to open up.

Apparently Michael was still under the shower or something, cause otherwise he would've already opened the damn door.

"Room service!" Zac called, faking some kind of upscaled voice the staff in a high class hotel like this would usually use.

When he heard noises, that resembled a door being pushed open inside the room, a smirk rose on his features.

Of course that guy would jump at the announcement of food. He knew him too well.

Leaning against the door frame he was already preparing a knowing look for his friend when the door opened swiftly.

Only that said friend wasn't the one standing in front of him right now.

It was the small brunette he hadn't seen in about 3 years.

The girl he had been so sure was "the One" for him, at least back then.

The girl he hurt so badly.

He wasn't able to apologize, to say  _anything_  for that matter.    

Vanessa was dressed in a more or less transparent black dress that tightly wrapped around her delicate curves and some black heels.

She looked stunning, breathtaking to be honest, cause that was  _exactly_  what this outfit was doing to him – it took his breath.

But to be honest, breathing was the last thing he cared about in that very moment.

Underneath the thin layer of dark fabric an even tighter, strapless gown was shining through. It looked brighter, grey or rosé maybe, with a floral print on it.

Zac really tried his best not to focus on those curves of hers but it was impossible.

Well, maybe he could pretend like he wasn't gazing up and down her dress like he was obsessed or something but the light red on his cheeks would give him away. So he could as well continue staring.

His intense examination of her appearance was finally interrupted by her soft voice.

" _Zac_? What are you doing here?" she said confused but in a way that snapped him out of his thoughts and returned his gaze to her face.

He couldn't help but tense at the obvious resentment in her voice.

Was she still  _that_ mad at him?

' _Apologize!_ ', ' _tell her that you got the room number wrong_ ', ' _walk away, idiot_!'

The thoughts in Zacs mind were racing while his movements were bold and determined.

He took a step towards her to close the distance between them but stopped when she flinched visibly.

Vanessa was trying to maintain her distance but it seemed like Zac's body didn't want her to.

It wasn't like he wanted to make her uncomfortable, he simply had no longer control over his actions.

That's what seeing her after all those months did to him.

"Zac" Vanessa said in a firm and alarming voice.

She was obviously trying to make him leave but she didn't say the words.

There was no demanding, she was simply warning him.

And there was no protest when he crashed his lips on hers, his hands cupping her face - desperate to feel her.

Even though he had no idea what he was doing or why, he didn't stop himself. If this was the only chance he'd ever get to be with her again, in  _any_  way, he had to take it.

Vanessa pulled him further in so she could close the door and pin him against it.

She couldn't resist him, she had never been strong enough to turn him down. That had been the point in not seeing the dark blond hunk again - cause she had known that she'd jump his bones if she ever got the opportunity.

Zac gently grabbed her tights and lifted her up, so she could wrap her legs around his middle while he turned them around. The kisses getting steamier with every second.

He gave a flying shit about anything and anyone right then as he was too consumed by the feeling of her tounge delicately circling around his.

It had been 5 minutes of staring and they were already up against the door but it still felt too damn slow.

He needed her and he needed her immediately.

As her fingers intertwined with his hair he lost it.

"God, Vanessa." he exclaimed and pushed her harder against the cold aluminium behind her. The need to feel her now represented by the huge bulge in his jeans.

 _'We can't do this, we shouldn't'_ Vanessa forced herself to think. She had a boyfriend and even if that wouldn't be the case Zac was the last person she should act out her lust with.

Still, she couldn't even convince herself.

She was so turned on by his rough actions and sedutive nibbling on her skin that she couldn't think straight. So instead of pushing him away, what would've been the wise thing to do, she gave in to her senses, in to  _him_.

Zac carefully unzipped the elegant dress and pushed it down her shoulders while their tongues continued their fight for dominance.

When he finally removed the upper part of the dark fabric he pulled away from her, just to regain some air. Not like the damn dress wasn't sexy enough, her not wearing a bra underneath made things even worse for him.

Ignoring the vibration of his mobile, Zac wrapped one muscular arm around the petite brunette and heated up their kisses by bringing the free hand up to steady her head.

He was now taking slow steps away from the door, destination: bedroom.

Whatever  _this_ was he wasn't going to ruin it by giving her the chance to think twice. He wanted her way too badly to end this now.

Vanessa protested slightly when he broke the kiss but quickly caught up with his thoughts.

"This way" she directed as he carried her towards her king-sized bed.

What they were doing was wrong on so many levels but her brain stopped functioning when the opened door had revealed her handsome ex with that ridiculous smirk on his features.

He quickly stripped her of the dress and watched in admiration as she took control over him.

Her small hands were straddling him as she sat on top, her lips still connected to his. Zac groaned as she removed his shirt oh so slowly cause he knew exactly that she was merely teasing him.

Vanessa's soft fingers trailed down his abs while his finally found her backside.

Gentle touches that tried desperately to cover up the need both of them were feeling.

Her gaze was now intense as it focused on deep blue irises with desire.

She was riding him slowly, black lace against hard denim. Small hands against hard muscles.

There was no need for words - the sexual tension spoke for itself.

Vanessa now placed kisses along his neckline down his torso.

As she was getting dangerously close to the hem of his jeans Zac decided to end her little game and flipped them, pinning her hands over her head.

"You're one big tease, Hudgens" he whispered into her ear before one of his hands found her breasts.

Finally able to feel the soft mounds in his hands he was convinced that now was the time for revenge.

He gently pushed one leg between hers and shifted his weight on her hips, teasing her with his hard-on.

As he watched her moan underneath him, he increased his seduction by playing with her nipples, massaging them, pulling, licking – by now he knew that he was driving her beyond crazy.

" _Fuck, Zac. Please._ " Vanessa begged, shifting under him.

If she hadn't been horny as well she would've stopped him long ago but now there was no way out of this.

With a dirty smirk he let go of her hands and watched her remove his belt hastily, using one of his arms to steady himself on top of her.

"Vanessa! What's taking you so long?"

The voice outside her door shocked them both.

It was like it pulled them back to reality, finally realizing what insane situation they were in.

" _Oh god_ " Vanessa exclaimed, covering her face with her hands in shame.

Zac too realized that this was it. They had acted upon a feeling they weren't supposed to feel towards each other ever again. Vanessa would push him away and out of her room in a second and he would not see her again.

Said brunette observed his reasoning just briefly before trying to get him off of her.

"Move!" she shouted at him in disbelieve and he followed her command.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry that it took me so long :/ the next chapter will be up soon, I promise! btw The dress Vanessa is wearing is the one she wears at the NYC premiere of gimme shelter as she is actually about to go there right now (in the story). Vanessa and Zac both being in NYC at the same time and some wonderful manips on tumblr inspired this haha.


	5. Keep your distance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please don't stand so close to me   
> I'm having trouble breathing   
> I'm afraid of what you'll see   
> Right now I'll give you everything I am   
> All my broken heartbeats   
> Until I know you'll understand

**Chapter 4 – Keep your Distance**

 

* * *

 

Smiling for the cameras, talking about the movie, her boyfriend, her plans for the future – the time couldn't have possibly been worse.

Seriously it was like those paparazzi could sense her discomfort the minute she stepped out there.

After the whole formal stuff she needed a minute to herself.

Therefore escaping to the low-lighted corridor behind the stage seemed like a pretty good idea.

"The glamorous movie star escaping to the undergrounds, what a cliché!"

The deep, all too familiar voice let her freeze for a second.

 _He couldn't be serious_.

Spinning around slowly, she chocked on the words she was going to throw at him.

 _God, he looked so handsome._  The grey chequered suit really fit nicely and let his already ocean blue eyes seem even brighter.

Why did he still posses the ability to make her speechless? He shouldn't be able to do that.

Vanessa avoided to look at him so she'd at least gain some sort of fortitude before the inevitable talk.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Vanessa asked the dark blond man who was now standing in front of her with a wide grin on his features.

"I was in the neighbourhood?" Zac said in a silly tone, raising his eyebrows.

"Well you aren't  _supposed_  to be here! Don't you have a premier to attend? What if someone sees you?" The petite brunette started rambling, the anger in her voice visibly hurting him.

"Uhm... I just- I thought" Zac started, the smile now vanished completely.

"You thought you just show up and see if your stupid ex is needy enough get laid after all? You're ridiculous, Zac, just  _ridiculous_!" V finished for him, growing furious.

After what went on between them in the hotel room, was she seriously not OK with him being here?

Sure, kicking him out could've counted as a sign but she had been in a hurry, so that didn't necessarily have to mean something, right?

He had been completely out of his mind after their little...  _encounter._

The promo event went by like a rush and he couldn't focus on a single question. He just smiled like an idiot.

Was she really not totally shaken by the afternoon's events? Like emotionally.

"Uh no, I thought we could talk..." Zac finished his previous sentence and awkwardly ran a hand through his neat hair.

"At my premier? Where there's press and producers and like hundreds of other people who could see you? Smart guy, really." Vanessa accused and turned around to make sure nobody was watching them.

The dark corridor suddenly seemed way too small and Zac felt like a retard next to her.

Just a few minutes before his plan had sounded perfect and now there she was, shouting at him and shattering his hopes.

"Look..." The brunette started with a deep breath, placing one small hand on his upper arm so he'd stop avoiding her gaze.

"I have a boyfriend whom I love really much and you – well... you have your countless bimbos who are just waiting for you to do them and that's only the  _slightest_ difference there is between us. We've grown into very disparate people." She said, her voice now so soft again, almost angelic, as her sad brown eyes focused on his.

" _Bimbos_? I think you're being a tat unfair here." Zac said trying to be funny but really only avoiding the more obvious topic between them.

 _Unfair?!_  Maybe he should've thought about unfair when he randomly dropped condoms at movie premiers, slept with his co-stars or talked about how much he enjoyed being with many different women.

Cause that had been  _unfair_.

But she wasn't going to bring it up now.

It would only show him how much it bothered her and he'd win. Not going to happen.

"Oh c'mon, I've heard the rumours." Vanessa contered withdrawling her hand slowly.

"Rumours, that's all they are." he said, a lot quieter now.

"You can't  _honestly_ be thinking that we're the same people we were 3 or let alone 8 years ago... that's delirious, Zac." She argued again, reminding him of the ultimate problem in the room.

It wasn't as if Vanessa didn't want it to be that way.

In reality it was her everynights dream, the thought that would inflict her mind every time she saw him on television – the way he so genuinely answered every question, the honesty and kindness in his statements and the dedication he had towards his fans – that was still the same Zac she basically grew up with.

But then again he was the same guy who dumped her because of his stupid career.

The guy who broke her heart so very selfishly.

The simple thought of ever being able to forgive him made her sick despite the confusing events that took place in her hotel room just hours before.

She knew that he'd break her again, maybe this time it wouldn't even take him 5 years but one week or two.

Vanessa couldn't let this happen again.

"You don't really believe that, now do you?" Zac asked, more to express his own hurting that for it to actually be a question.

For a few seconds she was lost in his eyes.

She had never seen him this hurt, at least not that she could remember.

The usual spark that usually lighted up his eyes was replaced by a darker, disappointed glare but still she could see how badly he wanted her to deny her statement.

She couldn't do it though. She couldn't let him in again.

"You should go now..." Vanessa told him quietly. It was more of a beg than an actual demand.

He couldn't believe a single word she was saying or maybe he just didn't want to... but he knew that he deserved all of this.

Three years ago when he had decided to let her go he knew that there was no coming back, no possible reunion.

And now he had to live with that decision even if it would kill him.

"If that's what you want." Zac said with a tensed jaw.

He had to take it now, whatever she had to say.

Maybe her shutting him down would even out the hurt he had put her through.

At least now he could relate.

"It is." Vanessa whispered, not able to look into his eyes anymore.

She knew that as soon as she would, she'd take it back but she had to be strong now.

"Alright, have a great night." He said leaning in to press the slightest of kisses to her left cheek.

"You too." the brunette said as she watched him pull back from the corner of her eye.

She wanted to tell him something like 'See you soon' but she knew that that wasn't going to happen.

* * *

A year ago he would have just grabbed a fine bottle and drowned all of this in alcohol.

It had been his friend all those years without her, vodka especially.

But he has been sober for over 8 months now and he would never forget how hard it had been to get clean.

It had been hell.

The worst part of it was that she had never called. Not once.

He could've cared less if all of this hadn't been for her.

Sure, getting on the right path again was something he did not only owe himself but loving fans and family, who had always believed in him – but still some part of him remembered the letter she had written him 2 months after his stupid decision to break things up.

_[…]_

_Even this is goodbye, I'll always be your biggest supporter, I'll always believe in you cause you are meant to change the world one day, Zac._

_Love,_

_Vanessa._

He'd cling to those words. The words that had gotten him through rehab.

So he decided to stay away from the damn mini bar and go check on his co-star.

After all he had to do anything not to remind himself of the beautiful brunette that was most likely just a few rooms beside him right now.

He had to give her space, if he wanted to maintain even the smallest chance of her ever speaking to him again.

Before he could leave his room though, he heard his mobile ringing on the small wooden couch table.

 _Dammit._ Almost forgot your phone again, Efron.

But all possibilities of distracting himself vanished as his eyes focused on the caller ID.


	6. Catching up

**A/N:** Thanks so much for reviewing on here and on tumblr, loves! You're the best!

* * *

**Chapter 5**

Vanessa quickly got dressed in a skirt and tight top before leaving the hotel.

She had to admit that she was excited to go out again, after all they had been best friends for so long so catching up won't hurt.

When Vanessa got into the club she instantly relaxed as she noticed that it was actually pretty small, not crowed at all.

Soft, low lights made the room look cozy and actually kinda romantic.

What didn't matter now anyway but she felt a lot more comfortable talking things through in a place like this.

Nervously the brunette checked her mobile again, still no message.

Getting ditched in a city like New York probably wasn't big a deal considering the fact that nobody gave a fuck anyway.

They were all strangers.

They wouldn't stare or judge.

Still, Vanessa was relieved when she finally spottet the blonde.

Getting up from her barstoole she waved quickly and waited for her friend to come over.

"Nessa!" Ashley said giving her bestie a tight hug.

They hadn't talked in weeks, what was more than strange for those two.

With Ashley Engagement and her starting career as an executive director it just seemed like they were worlds apart.

The bright smiles were all the same but they weren't that heartfelt anymore.

She loved Ashley, she really did but ever since she had started dating Austin the she felt like her friend was judging her for every move she made.

Ok, maybe she wasn't getting along with him too well but she should've been happy for her instead of getting her down.

"How have you been, love?" She heard Ashley ask.

 _Great. Minus the almost-hooking up with my ex and the promo stress but then again you wouldn't know._  Vanessa thought a little bit of bitterness in her voice.

"Awesome! I've been good as well." The blond woman responded enthusiastically.

Of course there were no bad intensions behind Ashleys carefree mood but it made Vanessa angry.

Usually her best friend would've noticed that something was wrong, she would've talked to her and made it all better but it seemed like today Ashley was the only one doing the talk.

As she went on and on about her future wedding Vanessa kinda spaced out.

It wasn't like she wasn't interested in her plans but it seemed like Ashley did all the planning with her fiance and his family when they had beem talking about managing the wedding stuff together since they were teens.

It just saddened her how little her best friend seemed to need her in her life.

"So you and Zac… that isn't going to be a problem, right?" She heard Ashley saying and couldn't stop herself from babbling.

" What? Why would you even say that we're fine!" She started to rant. "I mean not that we have been talking like at all but we're definitely good."

_We probably can't even be in one room without tearing our clothes off our screaming at each other but hey, a cheesy wedding won't be a problem._

"You sure?" Ashley asked, finally sounding kinda concerned about her friend.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Vanessa asked in a voice that was definitely too loud for any kind of pricacy.

"Alright, so you're not, relax." The blonde said almost shocked by her friends sudden outburst.

 _Relax? Right_.  _Hours ago I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex but c'mon let's relax._

Her blood was boiling.

Ashley knew how much she was still missing Zac as well as how much he hurt her back then.

She had been by her side, comforting her when watching cheesy movies and crying her eyes out.

She was the one person who should know better than to confront her with that.

"You don't get it, Ashley. I can't see him, I can't even be around him without going nuts. He drives me crazy!" Vanessa was almost screaming now

"But you're  _with Austin_  now-" The blonde started but was interupted immediately

"And that somehow magically erases all the feelings I ever had towards him? Just how naive are you?"

"Excuse me?" Ashley asked confused.

The anger now rising inside her as well.

"You're so consumed by your oh so beautiful life that you don't even notice what's going on around you-" Vanessa accused her in a loud voice.

"I-I just have a lot on my mind right now…-"

"Or do you simply not care?" Vanessa's features were hard now.

To her that fight seemed ineviatable.

* * *

He had been suprised when she called.

After all that had happened between them he wouldn't be suprised if she never wanted to talk to him again.

But she did.

Still, he wasn't quite sure if he even wanted to reunite with her in any romantic way… after all there had been a reason for their break up and it was more present then ever.

When she called she had been in tears so turning her request down was not an option despite his doubts.

He was waiting outside the hotel, the cold winter air clearing his thoughts.

So much had happned today, so many things he needed to talk about.

Just not now.

When he turned his attention back to the pavement he finally spotted her.

Bare legs, tight skirt and a big fluffy parker wrapped around her body.

Her soft brown curls framing her face in a beautiful way.

Despite the tears that were still streaming down her cheeks she looked gorgeous.

She always did.

"Zac-" She called out.

It was less of a question than her aknowledging the fact that he was there waiting for her.

"What's wrong, Lily?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: A/N: Sorry, I had to! I know it's mean but I promise you it'll only fuel the fire, all of it! :)


	7. Fools

When had this whole emotional talk gone from, well talking, to flirting? Zac didn't know if he was allowed to like it since Lily was obviously still hurting because of her ex,  _the other one_ , but the chemistry between them was undeniable. Or did he simply wanted it to be?

When her hand played with his shirt innocently Zac couldn't help but be reminded of another pretty brunette who perfected those careful yet so effective little touches.

The way Vanessa would trace her delicate fingers alongside his chest had never failed to make his heart beat faster. It had always been like something electric was created by the simple touch of her finger tips upon his skin. The kind of electricity that would spread through your whole body until it managed to drive every single nerve inside your body completely insane. There was no thinking straight when they were together - there was pure passion.

Vanessa would stare into his eyes while touching him and the glance they'd be sharing would be so intense that neighter of them could resist. She'd get up slowly without ever breaking eye contact and she'd put each of her toned legs on either side of his'. She would put a small hand on his torso, more to tease than to steady herself really, and she would crawl onto his lap so gradually that it would cause Zac actual physical pain.

But once she would be sitting in his lap the little game would be forgotten because he wouldn't care how long he had to wait, how much he had to suffer as long as in the end he got to enjoy the hypnotic feeling of her full lips on his. It was all he ever needed.

In contrast to this way too present memory Lily's sweet kisses had no meaning at all. He didn't feel the same exitement or drill, he almost felt numb. Zac knew that he should stop her, that he should be honest with her instead of imagining his ex with him right now. He knew that he was hurting her.

But most of all he was hurting himself. It was a masochistic thing to do - being with a girl you'll never truly be happy with, knowing that she'd only get her hopes up. He was punishing himself for what he did to Vanessa back then and he had been for years now.

Zac was a good guy so using someone knowingly was destroying him. He despised himself for being such a fake person around girls like Lily but the pain this self-hatred caused was overshadowing how much he still missed Vanessa. It was the only think that kept him from running back to her.

"I remember how much you used to love it when I did this-" Lily whispered into his ear as she slowly placed a trail of kisses down his neckline. She was obviously enjoying this make-out session but Zac wasn't feeling it. He let her continue though...

With a gorgeous girl in his arms he'd at least be able to sleep through the night.

* * *

Vanessa was walking around the cold streets of New York with her bodyguard following close by. She wanted to be alone right now but on the other hand did she know that she'd go crazy alone in her hotel room so taking a walk sounded like a better idea.

Still, it couldn't wash away the awful words she had thrown at her best friend.

Why did she have to freak out like that? Ashley wasn't the real problem but it had seemed like a better option to unleash her anger on her than confronting Zac again. He was probably already on his way to the airport anyway, after all he had a promo tour to finish and it would be ridiculous to belive that he would stay just because there was a small chance of bumping into her again.  _You wish, Vanessa, You wish._

Then again Zac had never been a fan of night flights so why would he do it now? Or was he that immature that he had to  _flee_  from her?

She remembered it clearly. The manly Zac Efron, the guy who always wanted to protect her from everything had actually been afraid of something.

This one time when they had stayed in bed all day, she couldn't really remember where they had been, they missed their flight and since the both of them had an important meeting concerning the High School Musical 3 promo tour in LA in the morning they had to take the last flight available.

To Vanessa it didn't even seem like a big deal, the weather was OK minus some raindrops and the airline was very trustworthy so when Zac had started debating whether or not night flights under bad conditions were too high of a risk she really didn't know where it was coming from.

With a little humor, and a lot of bribing to be honest, Vanessa had managed to get Zac on the plane nevertheless and looking back now it was worth it cause it had been one of the most honest and beautiful moments in their whole relationship. But it had been so much more... it had been a promise.

_"Zac calm down it's their job to get us to LA safely." Vanessa said with a slight giggle as she placed two soft hands on her boyfriends arm. Some other girlfriend would've probably been annoyed or even angry at him for acting like this but Vanessa had never quite seen Zac like this before. She couldn't be mad at him anyway but she was also pretty curious about his motives._

_He barely ever showed fear or acted uncertain around anyone and even if he felt that way he'd easily cover it up with some funny joke or ridiculous gesture._

_Vanessa liked being able to be there for him even though situations where she actually had to calm him down were rare. After all they were equals in their relationship so why shouldn't she get to be the strong one at times?_

_When the plane started moving Vanessa watched as Zac let his head fall back while he nervously patted her thigh. He wasn't even facing her but staring out of the window with nervousness written all over his face._

" _OK, you're starting to scare me." She said leaning in so he'd face her and explain to her what the hell was going on._

_Zac was usually a straight up person, he'd tell her if something was wrong right away. They had a really honest relationship like that. So what was he hiding all of a sudden?_

" _It's nothing, really. It will probably be forgotten as soon as we take off." He said looking into her eyes in a shy way Vanessa had not often seen on him before._

" _Oh I know what will help with that-" V responded as she lend in even closer, her face now only a breath away from Zacs._

_As she placed her lips on his gently she finally felt his tension fleeting. It was nice to know that she had such an effect on him, even after all those years. Little gestures like that had never failed to distract him from anything that was discomforting him._

_It was a very delicate kiss, long but tender. It symbolized the bond between them – intense but still so very breakable, though back then Vanessa felt like what they had was invincible._

_When the brunette broke the kiss she felt confident to discuss his fear again. Vanessa also allowed herself to let her hand wander up his neck carefully to caress the short hair on the back of his head- "Now tell me." She said in a understanding voice as her other hand came to rest on her boyfriends leg._

" _It's silly really-" He started but was interrupted again by Vanessas sweet voice- "Try me."_

_"You don't understand. Usually there is nothing I couldn't keep you safe from - stalkers, serial killers, groupies, paparazzi, press,.. Nothing I couldn't protect you from - " Zac said obviously conflicted. He seemed lost somehow._

_" Serial killers, really?" V asked with a sweet laugh but decided to let him finish after earning a sarcastic look._

_" If this plane crashes... It just does and there is nothing I could do about it. At day I could at least Hope for help.." He said focused on anything but her face again. So he was serious?_

_"And by day you'd survive of course." Vanessa stated in an attempt to get him to relax again. It was the loveliest thing though, him being worried about her safety. It showed that this was more to him than some silly teenage relationship most parts of the media took it for. No, he actually cared for her in such a deep way that it almost frightened her,that was if she wouldn't feel the exact same._

_" Sure. I am invulnerable, I have you."_

_Zacs words and wide grin brought her focus back to their current conversation and suddenly the worries were replaced by butterflies._

" No you're a cheese ball." Vanessa laughed and punched him on the arm slightly.

_He didn't seem to be joking though, his eyes were filled with honesty. He really meant it and this assurance moved Vanessa. This was too good to be real. They were too good to be real._

_"It's the truth though. As long as you're with me there is nothing that could harm me in any way and in return I make sure you stay safe and sound. That's how it works."_

_" Stop being so damn irresistible, Efron. Your looks are doom enough!"_

_"My looks, huh? That's all you care about." He said pretending to be hurt._

_"Oh shut up!" She said hitting him again._

_"Make me." Zac dared her with a wide smirk on his features. God, how much she'd like to kiss those lips right now, but first she had to prove a point. The most important one._

_"You know I love you for all you are, right?" Vanessa said right before she started kissing him again, this time there was no caution, it was passionate and heartfelt._

All of a sudden Vanessa was in a rage again. She had just screwed her completely fine friendship with her oldest friend just because he couldn't keep it together. Because he broke his stupid promise.

He was responsible for this mess so instead of blaming Ash she should be screaming at him right now.

If he hadn't shown up at her Hotel room, if he had simply left instead of kissing her and driving her insane. If he hadn't shown up at her premiere none of this would have happened.

V was more than grateful that Austin hadn't called yet. She had no idea how to behave or if she should tell him about this mess she had gotten herself into. Or well she'd definitely be blaming Zac but it wouldn't change the fact that she had betrayed Austin, the guy she claimed to be in love with.

Vanessa felt miserable and even though she'd most likely regret it later, she decided to call Zac.

* * *

When he heard his ring tone blasting from his phone in an annoying Way Zac got up from the bed carefully as not to wake Lily. As he heard her breathing steadily he risked to take a few careful steps towards the television area where his mobile was now vibrating on the glass table rather frequent.

Not that he wanted to get away from Lily or that he regretted sleeping with her but he welcomed the chance of having to escape this residence to answer the call nevertheless.

Sex was one thing but staying in bed to cuddle and to fall asleep together was something he felt quiet uncomfortable with, knowing that none of this had any meaning. It used to have, he used to like hiding out in bed all day, just him and the woman he loved.

It made everything else, all the worries, rumors and stress seem so far away. Like they were invincible and the world outside their apartment merely existed to keep them somewhat sane.

But he had only felt that way with Vanessa. Not once before and not once after they dated.

Now staying in just reminded him of her, like basically everything, and without actually knowing every other girl that had asked him to stay the night had reminded him of Vanessa and therefore sent him running.

Lily was used to it though. She had never made him feel bad for leaving or escaping her place for a bit. It was a part of who he was now and she accepted it without further questioning.

That was probably why he had stayed with her. Lily was OK with his fucked up emotional state and she wouldn't push him to be someone else but she couldn't change him for the better either. Not like Vanessa had.

When he finally reached the black thing that had caused him to wake up and even think about all of this he was motionless for a second.

On the small display there was a picture of the tiny brunette, who still had an unbearably big power over him.

He had taken that picture on their last vacation to Hawaii, the last days they had been happy together.

She was wearing a short white dress that loosely encased her curves and made her skin look toned and flawless. She had that kind of smile on her face that would show everyone around them how incredibly in love they were.

Vanessa had been perfectly happy that night. She had been smiling non-stop and always searched for a private moment to press a light kiss to his lips. Sometimes Zac had been too starlet by her beauty that he hadn't been able to respond properly but when he did they had to remind themselves to breathe in between.

It was how he had wanted her to remember them, happy and in love.

Zac had been so scared of losing this feeling, of waking up one day and not being enough for her that he had thrown away the chance of it actually working out.

The Sound of the still ringing phone brought him back to reality and before he could think clearly the mobile was pressed to his ear and Vanessa's lovely voice was echoing through his mind.

She was yelling at him but all that mattered was that she had called.

"Zachary! Are you even listening to me?" She asked in an angry tone forcing him to answer.

"I'm sorry Nessa." He said honestly but with an amount of guilt in his voice that let V suspect that he wasn't talking about his daydreaming.

"Don't do this I'm trying to be mad at you right now!" The brunette complained, her voice almost begging him to stop making this any harder on her.

"But I mean it. You have no idea..." Zac started quietly but was interrupted by his feisty ex once again. "I have no idea of what? What an asshole you are for playing with my feelings like this? How pathetic someone must be for ending a relationship for the sake of his career? When you started sleeping around like a male whore? Oh I can take a good guess!"

" _Why_  I broke up with you." The actor finished his statement leaving Vanessa speechless.

How much nerve he has to bring up this topic again. To remind her of all the pain he had caused. Vanessa wasn't quite sure if she felt like crying, yelling or running into his arms and she was scared to find out. As much as he wanted him to tell her the reason as to why he had shattered her world into pieces back then as terrified she was that his answer would ruin everything she had build.

Of course in the beginning she had hated him more than anything, a big Part of her still did but that was what had successfully forced her to move on and fall in love with her incredible boyfriend.

If whatever reason he had would take this hatred away from her she had no idea what was gong to happen.


	8. Not over you

When she had finally agreed to meet him in the middle of the night, Zac couldn't contain his nervousness.

For all he knew she still hated him more than anything and would probably just scream at him but he had too see her nevertheless. Even knowing that it would only break him and screw up all of the emotions he was still able to feel. It would be worth it.

But when she actually arrived at the small diner they had scheduled to meet at things were oddly different.

For once V wasn't yelling anymore, one might even think that she was at peace with their past the moment she walked in.

She was wearing jeans and a simple t-shirt, her face neutral.

There seemed to be no hard feelings between them, despite her previous outburst and Zac could only come up with one simple reason - them.

They had never actually fought except for the break-up. They just couldn't. Every time he had been mad at her a single glimpse of her beautiful brown eyes and stunning face had been enough to let all the anger vanish into hot air. Zac would never admit it to her, but he was secretly hoping that she had forgiven him for good.

Her eyes were darker then he remembered. Her smiles not as bright as back then.

But all in all she was still Vanessa, his Vanessa. The girl he had wanted to call his wife one day.

"Hey." He said in a warm tone, gesturing for her to sit opposite of him.

"Hi." Vanessa responded with a sweet smile playing on her lips that almost resembled one of those she would've blessed him with when they were still dating. But they weren't. He had to face that before he'd be getting his hopes up.

Still, those smiles seemed to be contagious. He couldn't keep himself from smiling back while the petite brunette was busy studying the menu.

That's when it fit him again. The reason she had agreed to meet him was the same one that had caused the silence that was resting between them right now. He had promised her to tell the truth.

If that was what she wanted him to say to make her feel better and let him go for good, he would. Even though he was scared as hell.

He supposed that hating someone for the right reasons was easy. That was why he chose to hurt her in the first place. He would never forgive anyone for hurting her so he'd be hating himself just as much as she'd hate him. And he supposed the plan had worked.

Still, coming clean about lying to her would be hard seeing as he was already burning up from the inside. As if there was toxic fluid in his stomach that was eating up all his organs. If that was the case, his heart would definitely be next.

But he had promised it so he wouldn't disappoint her again, not this time.

"About what happened back then..." He started, bringing up all the courage and strength that was running through his veins.

She'd probably hate him even more for the truth.

Not as passionate but the hurting would be worse.

To his surprise Vanessa looked up from the menu in her hand and interrupted his speech. "Don't." She said. But there was no anger in her voice. It appeared that she actually didn't want to know the truth.

"But-" He started but was cut off again.

"I changed my mind. Let's just-..." She was looking into his eyes now. Not the way any stranger would. She was actually looking bad probably saw the fear he had so hopelessly tried to hide. "... Let's just have dinner and enjoy this."

The smile that underlined her proposal was throwing him off the wagon again.

Why would she want this? To spent the night with him in some crappy diner when there was nothing in it for her?

God, this woman was a mystery. But Zac actually liked the idea of just talking and having at least a little fun for the old times' sake. Then again if Vanessa offered to spend time together would he ever tell her no?

.

"Remember that one time Lucas fell in the pool while dancing? No shit it was hilarious!" Zac admitted before taking another bite from his burger.

They had gone from simple small-talk to bringing up old stories from the set of their musical trilogy.

He hadn't seen Vanessa laughing like this in ages. Not on tv, not on paparazzi photos and sure as he'll not private, given the fact that he hadn't seen her private at all since their break-up.

Neither of them had brought up said tragic day or their little make-out session at the hotel yet and He prayed that they wouldn't. Not because he didn't want to resolve thing, he really did, but because their nostalgic trip to the past bad been so carefree and exhilarating that he would hate to ruin it.

"Of course! Everyone was basically like 'caution wet floor!' While he just went on dancing and when he did the spin all I heard was splash!" Vanessa exclaimed happily, laughter interrupting her words now and then.

"We went to the pool that night." His eyes were tender but seemed to be burning holes into hers at the same time.

Of course she also remembered that night.

If somebody had asked they would've said that they were just practicing for the Troy and Gabby pool scene but she really couldn't imagine that their fictional characters would've gone that far and especially not in the pool where everyone could've walked in on them.

But it had been divine. The first time they had gone it outside of their bedrooms.

You could've even described it as cheesy - the clear night, the stars, their little promises.

"We did have something. Didn't we?" He heard her ask quietly, her eyes not directed at him.

"We did."

It he could come up with because it was the pure truth. He could've told her that they still had, that he still believed they could fix it but this moment was so fragile, their relationship hanging on such a small string. He couldn't risk it.

When his phone buzzed again he was actually thankful for a short moment, getting to escape the serious tension between him and his ex lover.

But when he checked the message relief turned to guilt.

' _Still waiting for you, babe. Come back to bed. - Lily_ '

.

He seemed to be focused on his smartphone just a second too long. Something was up and she couldn't suppress the curiosity rising up inside her.

As he slowly looked up at her again her the look on his face seemed to confirm her presentiment. She had enjoyed their little moment so much that she had forgotten about the fact that it was limited by time. Sooner or later both of them would have to go back and face reality.

Nostalgia is beautiful while it lasts. And though Vanessa had prayed that their little nostalgic moment meant so much more she just realized that it hadn't. Not to him.

It had been her little fantasy and Zac wasn't real in all of this. She had painted the future how she dreamed it to be but her temporary fictional lover had to go back to his own dream. And she bet that it was not involving her, otherwise he had fought for her back then.

"Vanessa-..." He started the guilt already written all over his handsome face.

"It's fine." V assured him with a small smile. She really hoped that he'd buy it cause in all honesty, she couldn't been bring herself to believe it.

Nevertheless the brunette started gathering her thing with one of her small hands raised to call for the waiter. She knew that she'd have to do this quick. Like a band-aid.

She'd have to get up and run while her emotions were still playing along. The visible ones at least. On the inside her heart was tearing up, the wound those few hours had managed to clam ripping open again. She was screwed if he saw her cry, he wouldn't let him win this.

"It's not, V. I'm sorry." The former love of her life said honestly, putting one hand above hers.

With that her other hand came sunk in shock and her eyes grew slightly wider.

They had laughed, they had brought up old stories but this was too much. With a single touch this guy was destroying her again and she cursed the control he had over her.

She had to get out.

But he wasn't making any motion to let her go. Just staring at her with those endless blue eyes and holding her goddamn hand.

By now the mixture of the strangest feeling was tearing her up inside. On one hand she was sad and angry at him for putting her through this once more, but on the other hand she had to physically keep herself jumping over the small table that was separating them and press her lips to his.

It was torture.

"No really, it's ok. I bet your girlfriend is waiting for you back there." She shot him the same fake smile as before, teasing him, unable to even try and reveal her real feelings.

She had meant it as a joke but judging from his looks it was closer to the truth than she had suspected. Vanessa had never seen an expression on his face that came close to the current one.

His jaw was clenched but there was a pain in his eyes she couldn't bear. It was probably meant to look apologetic but all it did was shoot arrows through her chest.

Right there in front of her sat the man she grew to love, to hate, to forget one thing after another and now she was back at the beginning. Aching to make him feel better when in reality she should've been the one in need of comfort.

Then again was she any better? Sebastian was waiting for her back in LA and all she could think about was her ex being with another woman.

"I have to go."

Finally she couldn't hold back those hot tears anymore.

Her dream was shattered in a matter of seconds and she'd loose Zac again.

Without giving him the chance to protest she was up from her seat and out of the restaurant.

No looking back, one moment of weakness and she'd break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of nostalgic Zanessa? And how will all of this to on for them given their obvious attraction? Tell me what you think :)


	9. Don't make me sing

When he opened the door to his hotel room his whole body is tense, as if he was struck by lightning. All different kinds of scenarios had been playing through his mind during the jog from the diner up here and he was scared one of them could come true.

" _Zac something terrible happened. You gotta come back. I don't think I'll make it._ "

It was as if the words she used were painted on his eyeballs. There was nothing else he could think about in that moment.

Although it almost physically hurt to tell Vanessa that he had to go, to leave their little bubble of nostalgia and destroy any possible chance of fixing their friendship, he couldn't simply ignore a message like that. No matter if it had been some stranger or the most important person in his life, if you get a message similar to this one you don't think – you act.

Apparently he was too late because Lily hadn't responded to any of this call outs.

His breathing was so heavy by now he could swear he was panting like a pitbull. Still, he had to see for himself.

Zac wasn't running or yelling or anything like that. He was way too concerned that he'd spent all his energy on finding her that he couldn't help her.

But when he pushed open the door to the small bathroom he finally saw her lying in the tube. Completely healthy and  _grinning._

 _Was she serious_?

"Lily. I thought-" The young actor started in disbelieve but couldn't even finish his statement before he was interrupted.

"It was an emergency." The brunette finished for him as she slowly rose from the bubble bath she had been enjoying.

She was standing before him now, naked and wet, obviously enjoying the situation while Zac's face still sported a pale white.

"I thought something happened to you that you were having some kind of asthma attack or whatever could possibly be bad enough to scare me like that?!" Zac was yelling now. But how couldn't he? He had send Vanessa running just to get fooled by the other brunette in his life.

"Something  _did_ happen." Lily said, taking a step out of the warm water to lay her arms around his neck. "I started to miss you, silly. I really needed another round, if you know what I mean." She thought all of this was some sick game? Cause Zac did not particularly feel like playing right now.

Lily had never been stupid. She was a very intelligent woman to be honest. Yet he had witnessed that when it came to keeping him as _'her man'_ she could do ridiculous shit. He thought that things had been clear between them – sex, no strings attached – but from what was happening right here maybe Lily had more in mind for their little affair.

As he slowly removed her hands from around his neck Lily seemed to realize that he wasn't joking. She had seriously pissed him off.

"Honey, I'm sorry. Don't be such a buzz kill." She complained as she snatched a towel and followed him out of the room.

How could she expect him to be fine with all of this? Sure, her intentions had been rather innocent and she definitely couldn't have known that he had been with Vanessa at the time her text reached him. Still... It was a childish thing to do, a childish thing that might have cost him a reunion with the only person he had thought about through it all.

There hadn't been a single day where Vanessa hadn't been on his mind.

She had given him something to hope for in rehab. She had been his strength.

She had given him a reason to be a better person, to rely on his family like she did.

And no matter how much praise he had earned for his movies, she had been the one he wanted to share it with – the applause, the awards, the compliments.

And now he had hurt her once again, because of some absurd booty call.

"Get out." Zac's voice was hard. There was no sympathy in his eyes and none in his tone. He wanted Lily to get out and he wanted to make it up to Vanessa.

He wasn't even able to relate to his sudden anger but he definitely knew that when he got back he wanted Lily gone. It it was for good or not had yet to be determined.

"Seriously I'm heading out now-"

"-again." The brunette corrected him bluntly. She had probably caught on to the seriousness of the situation. Better late than never.

He shot her a warning glance but didn't wait for Lily to speak, there was no time for her bullshit.

"When I get back …  _you're gone_." Zac threw the two last words at her in a harsh tone that left no room for arguing. This was no freaking game to him.

"Zachary..." Lily complained again, reaching out to touch his arm but he didn't even care to respond.

When he noticed that Lily wasn't moving he stopped thinking about whenever she would stay or not. There were more important things to do right now.

"I mean it."

It was the last thing he told her before slamming the door shut behind him.

.

She should've known that it had been too good to be true. Zac was with Lily and she was with Austin and it would be selfish to pretend that that wasn't reality.

Vanessa mentally cursed herself for even believing that he had changed. After all most rumors did have some truth to them and the fact that Zac was sleeping around was no secret to Vanessa, Ashley had told her multiple times. Her blonde friend never meant to hurt her with any of it, on the contrary – she wanted to make her feel better about being with Austin, about  _being happy_ without Zac... well, that never seemed to work out.

The happiness she felt with Austin was different. He kept her safe, made her feel loved and cared for. He would make her laugh and take her on lovely little trips but he barely ever surprised her.

Her boyfriend never drove her insane or made her blood boil. He never left her speechless or rudely interrupted her by pressing a kiss to her lips in the middle of a sentence. Austin never gave her the feeling that she'd starve if she wouldn't get to inhale his scent within the next couple minutes. There was no passion, no intensity.

To be honest, she had hoped those feelings would grow between them over the years but they hadn't. They were still reserved for her teenage crush and former best friend.

Speaking of the devil.

There was a light knock on the door.

V didn't move, she was frozen in spot.

Although she had a good guess who it could be,  _who she wanted it to be_ , the disappointment that would come from another person standing outside her door would be unbearable.  _It had to be him_.

" _Vanessa_."

She would recognize his voice everywhere, at any time, no matter how much time had passed. It was master to the words that had made her fall for him so many times and all over again.

But what does she do now? She couldn't simply let him in and set herself up for another heartbreak. She wasn't strong enough to have him near her again just to loose him right after. You had to be beyond masochistic.

But maybe right now, she was.

"Please V, let me in." He was pleading her, begging her to listen. His voice was shaking like her whole body. " _I'm sorry_."

It seemed like Vanessa had no control over her mind, she was a moth to the flame, a magnet being pulled and pushed away frequently.

She couldn't open though. Even if she wanted to. Letting him in was a metaphor for something that would destroy her sooner or later.

The brunette just sat down on the cold ground, her body resting against the door that separated her from everything she ever wanted and everything she feared.

"I really wanted to stay with you but-" he started talking again, his voice barely a whisper from where she was.

"but _Lily._  It's fine." V reassured him quietly. She didn't even want to know about the woman by his side that had replaced her. By now she just wanted him to sit beside her, listening to nothing but their steady breathing. No word about boyfriends, girlfriends, break-ups or any other thing that kept them at distance.

"How-"

"I do read gossip sometimes." She admitted with a roll of her eyes. It should be obvious that she still cared about him, so keeping tabs on his personal life was something she just couldn't avoid. Not that she was stalking him or anything ( _definitely not_.)

"Cute."

She could practically  _hear_  him grinning through the door.  _Damn him_.

"Zac..."

How could he make fun of this right now? And why did it actually make her smile?

Good thing he was outside her room, otherwise she couldn't keep her walls up, with that bright blush spreading on her cheeks and that idiotic smile playing on her lips.  _This guy would be the end of her._

Appearing as if he actually got the hint Zac went back to the more serious issue on hand. "She said it was an emergency and I  _had to_ get back." He told her honestly and waited for her to answer, to say something that might take the heavy weight off his chest.

"Ah, she's staying at your room then."

She didn't mean for it to come out jealous and definitely not bitter. Beyond that did she know that she had no right at all to make him feel guilty about anything.  _She_  was the one with the steady, fairytale relationship. It had been an impulse that let the words escape her mouth before she could even think them.

"Vanessa, please..." he begged her again and V could feel that her accusation had hurt him somehow. Maybe his feelings for her weren't forgotten either.

"So was it? An emergency I mean..."

Though Vanessa had no intention of talking about his  _girlfriend,_  she knew whatever happened bothered him what made it her business somehow.

"I threw her out."

As soon as the words left his mouth Vanessa's head fell back against the door behind her.

She could be a dreamer at times and she did always try to see the simplest solution and most positive perspective but she wasn't blind either.

He hadn't just thrown her out because of whatever emergency there had been cause due to the lack of explanation she guessed that it couldn't have been anything actually serious or life threatening.

He knew him. Zac had thrown out his girlfriend because of what had happened between them and she had no idea how she should feel about that.

After a couple minutes of silence between the ex lovers Zac dared to speak up again, even more quiet than before his confession.

"So?"

His question was simple, what didn't mean that she had an answer.

"So.."

"Are you going to let me in?"

Everything inside her ached to do so upon taking in his hopeful tone. But she wasn't sure if it would be a wise choice.

"Don't make me sing." She heard him threatening half-serious and couldn't keep the chuckle inside.

"Door's as good as open!"

Vanessa heard a sigh of relief from his side of the door. But there was also something else... excitement?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
> How will things work out between Zac and V? Can she find it in herself to trust him again? And what about Lily and Austin? (So much coming up in the next chapters!) What do you think?
> 
> Shall I continue? Please leave a review if you think so, I breathe off them!
> 
> Btw what are your thoughts on Zac and Michelle?


End file.
